Tomorrow is yellow, pink, baby blue and sunshine. Flowers, sweet fragrance. Sparkle and bling, trinkets and charms. Smiles, laughs and a warm embrace. Endless, unconditional, one-of-a-kind love.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.
It’s my first without the woman who taught me, by example, how to be a mother and how to be a daughter. Two roles that crafted the lens through which I see the world, two roles that have shaped me into the woman I am today.
I read an article this morning that made me laugh and made me cry, written by another motherless daughter (let’s call it MD) about how she’s coping without her mom on this holiday weekend. (Here it is, in case you’re interested: http://modernloss.com/how-im-making-mothers-day-my-bitch/) My friend and fellow MD, Susan, shared the article with me, knowing this would be a hard time. Aunt Faye, Cousin Trina, friends Barbara and Bert and many others, have already reached out to lift me up. Some are MDs and some are simply friends who know…I’m walking a tightrope here, trying to make it to Monday.
When I started running, I was shocked by the huge and supportive running community. Lovers of yoga have their family of yogis. Writers (ya, I’m just gonna say I am one!) even have their own circle, too. Who knew…I never imagined…that we motherless daughters have our own sisterhood, too. They gather around – in person or virtually – and support, hug, advise, love…and understand. Before I ran, I never noticed runners. Before I did cat-cow, I didn’t know what Namaste meant. Before I wrote a blog (or 30), I didn’t know there was such a network of writers.
And before I became a Motherless Daughter, I never gave it a thought or imagined there would be a safety net of MDs out there. I’m so thankful for them (and everyone else) who has been such a support.
Shortly after Mom went to heaven, a wise woman quietly placed her hand on my heart and said, “She is here. She will always be right here.” It’s true. She might not be with me in a way that creates a shadow on the ground, but she’s here.
She is right here with me, every minute of every day.